Life is overwhelming. Even without birthmotherhood attached, the journey is tough, demanding and taxing. For a few months now, I’ve been in a rut. Dominic’s birthday in May really set me off track and I’ve struggled to get back on my path. As discussed in last week’s post, mindfulness is often an effective tool when grieving, […]
peace
Why You Should Trust Your Mind to Help You Heal
Podcasts are great road trip companions, especially when driving back from visiting my baby. They keep my mind off the growing physical distance between me and him. On our way back from our most recent visit, Neil and I listened to NPR’s podcast “Hidden Brain,” hosted by social science correspondent Shankar Vedantam. In episode 42, […]
How Birthmothers Can Find Peace — Part Two
Author’s note: This is the conclusion to a two-part series on finding peace. The first part was published last week and can be read here. The word “peace” is often used to describe stillness, resolution, or a time absent of war. Parents (of children or animals) long for “peace and quiet,” while somewhere a […]
How Birthmothers Can Find Peace — Part One
Author’s note: This is the first in a two-part series on finding peace. The conclusion will be published next week. Two weeks ago, a large wildfire raged about 60 miles north of where I live. The fire began on the outskirts of the little town of Lake Isabella and spread quickly. Officials ordered evacuations […]
When I Feel Jealous…
When I feel jealous, my cheeks flush. When I feel jealous, my breathing stops. When I feel jealous, my stomach knots. When I feel jealous, I zero in on her holding him as he clings to her. When I feel jealous, I look away, blinking back tears. When I feel jealous, I wish I was […]
Backtracking Through Hatred to Find Peace
The last two years of my life have evoked the strongest emotions I’ve ever experienced. Some of these emotions are not pretty: jealousy, envy, anger, even hate. Lately I have felt a lot of anger, and sometimes I let it turn into hate. My hatred can become so strong that it eclipses any of my other […]
Why Authenticity is Worth the Risk
When I am presented with a difficult question, my answer choices generally boil down to lying or telling truth, though perhaps only a version of it. The most difficult question I face is, “Do you have children?” This query forces me to consider whether I will identify as a birthmother. In this situation, not only […]