Author’s note: This is the first in a two-part series on finding peace. The conclusion will be published next week. Two weeks ago, a large wildfire raged about 60 miles north of where I live. The fire began on the outskirts of the little town of Lake Isabella and spread quickly. Officials ordered evacuations […]
birth parents
Seeking Closure from an Ambiguous Loss
No doubts exist in my mind about whether I lost a child. I did. In most contexts, “losing someone” implies a death. But some scenarios, including mine as a birthmother, are much more complicated. With a Ph.D. in child development and family studies, Pauline Boss is an educator, researcher and author of the theory of […]
‘Moving On’ Without ‘Getting Over It’
“When are you going to get over it?” These hurtful words are spoken to many birthmothers, who I’ve heard lamenting the questioner’s lack of empathy and compassion. The one who asks the question may be well-intentioned, trying to motivate the birthmother to move through her grief and depression after placement. (Or they are just being […]