Getting Through the Bad Days

Time warps under the weight of depression. It stretches and twists until I can no longer judge whether I have been sitting still for five minutes, five hours or five days. Another week passes and I wonder what’s eaten the time, yet each second I watch the clock with a desperate eye.

“Bad days” are when time has no meaning because my grief consumes me. Not every week has bad days, but the stubborn boogers do come and go according to their own will.

Here is a list of a few activities I find helpful in getting me through my lowest moments:

1. Treat myself to something special, like a new book or a favorite food.
2. Text Dominic’s mom, just to say hello and with no expectations of a return message.
3. Write out memories, especially if there are one or two on repeat in my brain.
4. Curl up with the blanket I was given the day after Dominic was born; he took home a matching one.
5. Reach out to other birthmothers or empathetic friends, maybe just to chat about anything to get Dominic off my mind.
6. Browse through his pictures — although sometimes this is less helpful than others!
7. Let myself have a good cry.
8. Take my dogs to the park; it can be therapeutic to make someone else happy.
9. Buy myself a bouquet of flowers.
10. Work on an arts and crafts project.
11. Spend time in the sun.
12. Hit “reset” with a refreshing nap.
13. Relax my expectations of myself for the day.
14. Listen to soulful music.
15. Go to the gym.

Although I’m not perfect at making it through my bad days with my head still above water, I’ve found that when I do some of these things — even if I have to force myself — the time passes more smoothly. I never before wrote these tools as a list, but I think having it written out will lead to better practice in the future. Maybe it’s given you a few ideas, too.

 

What do you do when you have a bad day? Do you have a list of “time passers”? Leave a reply in the comment box below! Please also keep in mind the comment policy.